“Wonderful! Stupendous! A magical piece of cinematic brilliance!”, is what I might say if this movie wasn’t such a piece of crap.

Hmmm…Where do I begin?  First of all, it’s a musical.  I know, ‘nuff said, right?  But believe me it gets worse.  This “movie” starts off with four actors -- three guys and a woman -- auditioning for the role of Jesus in what would appear to be a knock off of “Jesus Christ Superstar”.  When they all fall flat, they get the bright idea to head to the Big Apple to try and make it there as actors. 

Why they would try to make it big in New York City when they can’t even make it in whatever town they were supposed to be in is beyond me.  Anywho,  on their way out to NY , they get sidetracked and one of the guys ends up in the restroom of a seedy gas station with the local deputy and proceeds to get himself into a “homosexual situation”.  When the deputy’s advances are refused (which shocked me, I thought the guy was a fruitcake) he and the sheriff arrest them all under some sort of immoral conduct code thing the town has. 

Then I fell asleep. 

When I woke up, the four had been tried and placed in some sort of custody of the locals, each person placed with a different local(s).  The good thing about this is that there was a secret coven of men hating witches that the woman actor was placed with, so there was a bit of lesbo-action and some nudity which I’m glad I was awake for, but it was short lived and then the movie started sucking again. 

Did I mention this was a comedy?  This movie was a “comedy”. 

I fell asleep again, probably from laughing so hard -- please note the sarcasm.  When I woke up again, the townspeople had turned into zombies from some sort of apocalyptic curse or contagion or something.  I have to say here that some of the gore FX weren’t so bad, but the zombie make-up was -- in a word -- pathetic.   So they all get bitten/eaten except for the woman (who by the way wrote this little gem) and she apparently lives happily ever after with the zombie people of Jacksville?  I think it was Jacksville. 

So there ya have it.  I just can’t say enough about this movie, mainly because there aren’t enough negative adjectives in the English language.

Beer Review Rating:

5 Tequilla shooters
12 Beers
5  Post show Tequilla shooters (you don’t want to remember this movie…Do you?)