To quote Frank Zappa’s spoken introduction to "Cheepnis," his 1974 paean to ‘50s fright flicks, "I simply adore monster moves - and the cheaper they are, the better they are." I also adore rockabilly music. And I also adore - nay, worship - Shannon Lark. So, when the chance came for me to review a parody of ‘50s horror movies called Flying Saucer Rock ‘N’ Roll (named after the classic Billy Lee Riley rockabilly tune), starring Shannon Lark, well, let’s just say I jumped at the chance.

It’s 1957 and Johnny Keen (Josh Duthie) is the squarest kid in school. You know, a real L-7, daddy-o. All he wants to do is get through the day without getting beat up by the jocks or mocked by the beatniks. Susie Smith (Shannon Lark) is the cutest kitten in the class, and all she wants to do is have fun. Maynard (Elan Freydenson) is a beatnik, but he’s the outcast of the group, which kind of weird considering the beatniks are outcasts themselves. But, as we will soon see, life is kind of weird…

Kicking the plot into gear, Susie, as a consequence of losing a bet, finds herself having to go on a date with Johnny. But Johnny could be pretty hot if he just loosened up a little, so she’s not too upset. In fact, they eventually find themselves ending up at Lovers’ Lane. Coincidentally, the school beatniks are in the woods nearby, playing bongos, reciting bad poetry and smoking "the marijuana." As Maynard stumbles into the forest to take care of business, he sees a flying saucer streak across the sky. Hiding, he watches as the saucer’s inhabitants present a gift to his fellow beats - a gift of cosmic weed! It’s some pretty hep pot, man. When you smoke it, you turn into a Martian zombie and totally go ape. (Just say no, kids.)

Will Johnny save Susie? Will Maynard smoke the atomic weed? Will the Earth be rescued from the clutches of the evil alien dope pushers? Will I recommend this movie?

While the makers clearly had a lot of fun and their hearts are in the right place, I’m afraid the film just does not cut it. But, it definitely has its moments. While the movie’s low budget generally works against it, the filmmakers do manage to have fun with it, such as the scenes of the zombies marauding around the planet, which are shown as zombies running on a conveyor belt in front of, say, the Sphinx or the Eiffel Tower. And Shannon Lark is great (and adorable in her poodle skirt), but she doesn’t have much to do here. And I did like the animated comic book sequence. It’s a way-out way to feed us some exposition, Clyde.

The period cars and costumes are good, but some of the actors’ hairstyles don’t make it. Rather than really commit to the role and cut their hair into ‘50s styles, they decided to slick it back and hope no one notices. I noticed. Also, the film is saddled with a framing device, a present-day prologue that tries to make the flick feel like a documentary. I think this idea is rather tired. The film would’ve played better as a straight-ahead tribute to classic sci-fi movies, like the wonderful Lost Skeleton of Cadavra. Thankfully, the flick does have a cool soundtrack, played by various neo-rockabilly bands, like the Koffin Kats and the Chop Tops, who have a cameo as the group playing at the local dance hall.

Director and co-writer Eric Callero and writer Joe Callero definitely get points for conception, but none for execution, I’m afraid. So, as much as I want to - and I really, really wanted to - I just can’t buy the jive Flying Saucer Rock ‘N’ Roll is laying down.