“Wonderful! Stupendous! A magical piece of cinematic brilliance!”, is what I might say if this movie wasn’t such a piece of crap.

Hmmm…Where do I begin?  First of all, it’s a musical.  I know, ‘nuff said, right?  But believe me it gets worse.  This “movie” starts off with four actors -- three guys and a woman -- auditioning for the role of Jesus in what would appear to be a knock off of “Jesus Christ Superstar”.  When they all fall flat, they get the bright idea to head to the Big Apple to try and make it there as actors. 

Why they would try to make it big in New York City when they can’t even make it in whatever town they were supposed to be in is beyond me.  Anywho,  on their way out to NY , they get sidetracked and one of the guys ends up in the restroom of a seedy gas station with the local deputy and proceeds to get himself into a “homosexual situation”.  When the deputy’s advances are refused (which shocked me, I thought the guy was a fruitcake) he and the sheriff arrest them all under some sort of immoral conduct code thing the town has. 

After much consideration, I decided to watch “The Bel Air Bitch Project” for this week’s review.  I figured it probably had some nudity and would be loosely based on the “The Blair Witch Project” which it did and was…sort of.  But instead of being the mildly scary off-shoot of the aforementioned film, it was more like the drunken rants of a middle aged coked-up stripper.

How can you go wrong with a movie called “Vampyros Lesbos”?  Easily apparently.  Directed by Jess Franco, this 1971 flick barely tips the fear factor scale or the libido scale for that matter. Fortunately, I had 3 pre-movie beers which was a great deal of help while sitting through the films excruciating opening soft-core lesbo scene. *Yawn*